Hookup with a friend can be a tricky situation. While it may sound exciting and often feel right in the moment, it can lead to some awkwardness if not done the right way. Experiencing a whole new level of closeness can be fulfilling, but it’s important to go about it cautiously to ensure you don’t harm your friendship. To establish a successful hookup, follow these key guidelines.
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Talk it Out
Consider having a conversation with the friend you’re interested in so you both are on the same page about what you’re looking for. If things go sour, things can get awkward with your friendship. Being open and understanding in the conversation can help to prevent backlash and hurt feelings. You could ask questions such as: Are we looking for casual hookups, or a more serious connection? Both partners should make sure they are in sync in order to have a mutually pleasurable experience.
Set Boundaries
Once you’ve got the conversation out of the way, make sure you come up with clear boundaries for your relationship. This relies on mutual respect and will help both parties feel comfortable. Additionally, decide what’s comfortable for both of you when it comes to expressing affection. Each person should agree on how often they want to have sex, whether or not to cuddle afterwards, and so on. Having safeguards in place can keep the relationship positive.
Know When to Move On
If things just aren’t progressing the way you had hoped, it might be best to just move on. Don’t force it if the feelings aren’t there, or strain your friendship with precious memories. It’s okay to cut ties, as long as you both can still maintain a good friendship. Be respectful to your friend’s wishes and feelings – don’t try to pressure them into anything.
Be Careful
Though it’s exciting and often life-affirming to establish an intimate connection with a friend, it’s important to use protection when it comes to sex. Use protection to keep yourself and your friend healthy, and be sure to practice safe sex. If either of you are unsure about using protection, don’t pursue a physical connection.
Hooking Up With a Friend: The Pros & Cons
Hooking up with a friend can be an attractive option since both parties generally know each other. Friends often have history, good chemistry, and similar interests. But it is not without risks, so it’s important to carefully consider the benefits and drawbacks before taking the plunge.
The Benefits
The most obvious plus to hooking up with a friend is the comfort you inherently feel in their presence. You can trust that they’ll be honest and forthright with you, and you can likely overcome any initial awkwardness that comes with a new relationship. Friends also understand more of each other’s needs and preferences, making it easier to reach a romantic connection.
It’s also likely that existing friends will be able to make more informed decisions since there is a greater amount of past knowledge to draw from. It’s easier to sense discrepancies, for example, when someone is not being truthful. Furthermore, since friends are typically compatible in terms of interests, values, and opinions, it’s likely that the long-term compatibility will be greater if both parties are open and honest about their feelings and desires.
The Drawbacks
Perhaps the biggest concern with hooking up with a friend is the risk of damaging or ruining the existing friendship. It’s entirely possible that one or both parties will become hurt in the process, causing irreparable harm. It can also be difficult to set emotional boundaries in order to prevent jealousy, or a feeling of loss of control if things don’t end as desired.
Additionally, your friends may not like, or even approve of, the new relationship. This can be an awkward situation that could complicate your friendships or cause embarrassing moments. And, if the relationship doesn’t work out, there could be feelings of awkwardness, resentment, or resentment, especially if you are unable to maintain a platonic relationship after breaking it off.
What to Do If Your Friend Says No?
It can be incredibly awkward when your friend says no to your invitation to hook up. Even if you had a strong connection and chemistry, it’s not the end of the world if your friend isn’t interested. Here are some things to consider if your friend turns you down.
Be Respectful of Their Boundaries
If your friend says no, make sure to respect their boundaries and don’t pressure them or make them feel uncomfortable. No matter how awkward it may be, try to handle the situation with grace and take their decision in stride. Your friendship is more important than pursuing a romantic connection with them.
Take Sometime to Process Your Feelings
It’s important to take some time to process your feelings. Rejection can hurt and it may take a while before you are able to move on. Talk to a friend or take some time to yourself to reflect on what happened and how you’re feeling. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and come to terms with the rejection.
Set Boundaries for Yourself
Once you’ve processed the rejection, you can then set boundaries for yourself when it comes to the friendship. This could mean that you limit how often you see them, or that you two no longer discuss romance or relationships. Whatever you decide, it should be something that helps you move forward from the rejection.
Don’t Shut Your Friend Out Completely
It’s important to make sure that you don’t write off your friend entirely due their rejection. While it may take time for things to go back to normal or at least a modified version of normal, don’t forget the important connection you have with them and don’t let your feelings of rejection stop you from the friendship.
Have Compassion
It is an important to have compassion when your friend turns you down. Even if you are disappointed in the rejection, it doesn’t mean that you can’t have empathy for them and understand their position. Remember, they’re going through this situation just as you are and it might not be easy for them. If you want to maintain a healthy relationship with them, make sure to be understanding and kind in your interactions going forward.